by Christina Gombar
Can we talk? I’m bugged by recovering alcoholics – many on high doses of psychotropic prescription meds — whose sour looks convey judgment of us one-drink-a-dayers as fellow drunks. I’m gluten-free. I cannot eat wheat, bread, beer, pizza, cake, bagels, or pasta. But I don’t condemn people who can. It’s not their fault they can take pleasure and sustenance from things that make me sick. At restaurants I apologize for my needs, explaining to the wait-person, “I’m gluten-free. It’s a cult.”
I have enough drugs in my bottom drawer to put a large village to sleep and enough in my top drawer to energize a small army. They are worth a small fortune, but their cost is never contested by my health insurance company. I have a chronic health condition from which
no pill cures me, and all are bad news in the long run. Even Advil taken daily for pain is infinitely worse for my liver than a glass of Rose taken with dinner.
But such is today’s faith in pharmaceuticals and demonization of liquor, that to be seen sipping a glass of wine with dinner generally leads people to the conclusion that my health condition is caused by drinking.
When I moved to Rhode Island six years ago, my old college roommate introduced me to her friends: “This is Tina, don’t mind her, she’s Teatotal.” Because I limited myself to one glass of champagne, and only ever drank with food. Pregnant women openly drink. Scotch. In the morning. I know many high functioning, middle-aged, career-successful people who put in a couple of hours at their regular bar nightly, and return for Saturday and Sunday lunch to drink the afternoon away.
Because I’m not a heavy drinker, it’s made it harder than usual to segue from an urban-work culture where people are addicted to jobs, gourmet food and psychotherapy, to the resort area where booze serves all three functions: nutrition, occupation, and all-purpose soul-soother and stress-buster. A steep recession reigns here in the Ocean State and Rhode Island has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country. You’d never know this from looking at the three-deep crowd at the bars of the local restaurants. In a way it’s heartening to see middle-aged and elderly people enjoy themselves and socialize like teenagers. But I know I will never be one of them. I am too vain. You are what you eat and this also goes for drink. The women
I see heading for Friday night happy hour (which starts at 2:30 p.m.) at the local bar look like their favorite drink: a can of Bud.
Christina Gombar is an unwilling member of several cults, including gluten-free and non-Moms. Her prize-winning work has appeared in numerous consumer, online and literary journals, including The London Review of Books, Working Woman and Exhale. She wishes she could drink like she used to. www.ChristinaGombar.com
Great essay! I’ll drink to that…moderately, of course.
There seems to be an inability in society, broadly speaking, to place and adhere to reasonable limits any more…it’s “extreme” this and “extreme” that. You and old Ben Franklin have it right, “moderation in all things” … thanks for a well reasoned essay!
I’m a one-drink gal, without medical prompting. Even in the picket-fence suburb where I live, people drink too often and too much, and my rule of one beer or one glass of wine is met with disbelief. Honestly, any more than one gives me a headache or puts me to sleep – and I also embrace my ability to listen to my body’s needs and stop. I have always been somewhat overweight, so the same is not true for food perhaps – yet I’d rather be known as the chubby neighbor than the town drunk. But I think I’m the only one with that preference.
The thing that always baffled me: How big the glass? Does one glass mean a 5-oz serving, which I’ve just learned equals 1/2 cup + 1/8 cup, or one of those fishbowl-sized wineglasses? When were those supersize wineglasses created–probably in the 80s? Maybe someone should invent a wineglass that measures, and beeps when the quota is reached–you plug in your weight, etc. Just rambling…
It’s the fish bowls we have to watch out for! My husband has a glass that holds a half bottle of wine, if filled. But in a restaurant — it’s usually a pretty modest pour.
The idea behind the “big glass” of wine is that you’re supposed to fill it half-way (which is still a ton of wine!) and the upper concave part of the glass captures the “bouquet.” But really I think most people just use them to guzzle!
Kudos to you. And who cares if you’re the only one? You are also probably the only one sober enough to notice!
I don’t drink because alcohol often calms me down at first and then wakes me up with a jolt in the middle of the night, heart pounding, mouth dry, panic rising. But that’s a total buzz kill and too complicated to explain to people who I sometimes see glancing at me, wondering why I’m the only one not drinking. There are millions of reasons why some people drink and millions of reasons why other people don’t. Thanks for sharing yours.