Thanks for your article. I too was raised in 12-step programs and had the “recovery” methodology drummed into my head from an early age. I know that it has helped me to be more self-aware and cautious when it comes to addiction but I often wonder whether it has given me a black and white attitude – the “all or nothing” method of drinking.

I could be classified as a binge drinker as I drink very little during the week but often have blowouts on the weekend and overdrink when I’m out socially. I have always had that attitude towards alcohol – because I was told my father was an alcoholic with a disease and I may be genetically vulnerable to having the same reaction to alcohol, I have been both scared of it and fascinated with it. What is this drink with the magical properties that has the power to completely change my personality?

I started out as a very moderate drinker but that changed when I met my now-husband and his family who are all big drinkers and apply alcohol liberally in their lives. I thought maybe it was my mother who had got it wrong by classifying everyone as either alcoholic or “sick and affected” by the disease of alcoholism. So I drank too, guiltily, greedily. I loved it and I hated it. I still have that ambivalent attitude towards alcohol.

Right now I am working on being more moderate and to drink responsibly. I am taking an honest look at how and why I drink and how I can enjoy small amounts without huge consequences. But will the secret childhood fear that I may be an alcoholic always hold me back?