I’m Leah Odze Epstein, and I am a blogger. Actually, I’m co-editor of Drinking Diaries, and this is my first official off-the-cuff blog post, spurred on by a reader who threw down the gauntlet and said, “Why don’t these bloggers just BLOG?” Hmmm. Good question.
Last night, when I couldn’t sleep (probably because of an overloaded back-to-school schedule, as the mother of three kids), I was thinking about how my mom, a recovered alcoholic who has been sober for over 30 years, explained to me that alcoholism was a disease, and alcohol was not the only cause. It is a disease of the emotions as well as a chemical disease (involving blood sugar issues, the body’s ability to metabolize alcoholic, etc.). She always said to me, “You don’t have the personality for it,” which somehow made me feel better.
Over the years, I’ve debated many people on the disease front–people who don’t believe alcoholism is as much a disease, but a failure of will or a lifestyle choice. It’s confusing, because so-called high functioning alcoholics throw a wrench in the works–can’t everyone just cut down? Isn’t it just a question of moderation and self-control?
For alcoholics, it’s not that easy. My mother had to go through detox–and after that, she was told she should never drink again because she is allergic to alcohol, and she hasn’t.
I would argue that my mother’s definition is true: an alcoholic is someone who is allergic to alcohol, and should never drink again. Just as my husband and daughter have celiac disease, and their bodies cannot tolerate wheat or gluten-containing products, some people have an allergy to alcohol. I think a distinction needs to be made between alcoholics and heavy drinkers, and that the label high-functioning alcoholic can be misleading. Most alcoholics eventually hit rock bottom. Many people can benefit from moderation management, I am sure, but they are probably not alcoholics.
I’m not saying that alcoholics should not make amends to the people they hurt, using their “disease” as an excuse. I’m just arguing for increased understanding of the distinction between heavy drinking, a drinking problem and the disease of alcoholism.
What do you think, readers? What is your definition of an alcoholic?
I think the definition of an alcoholic is losing control over your drinking such as not being able to stick to a predetermined number of drinks or losing control of behavior when drinking. Some people seem more physiologically pre-disposed to this kind of relationship with alcohol than others and therefore shouldn’t drink. Defining it as an allergy doesn’t make much sense to me since someone who is allergic to pollen, for example, isn’t going to go outdoors in the springtime an snort up as much pollen as they can. I understand that about a third of Asians actually do have an allergy to alcohol. After a few sips they experience what is known as the “Asian Flush Syndrome.” I imagine very few of them continue drinking once they experience that!
Thanks for the post!
I think the word ‘alcoholic’ is a powerful one, and we should save it for serious problems. But the definitions of ‘alcoholic’ we read in the papers or the Internet are ridiculously broad. If you’ve ever had a drink alone, or had a hangover, or felt guilty about drinking, or developed a tolerance, or if you drink to get drunk (and really, what other reason is there?)–then you lay yourself open to being called an alcoholic. It’s silly–if you make people feel guilty for every Saturday night they get wasted, they’ll be less able to recognize when there really is a problem.
I don’t think those who advocate abstinence and those who can moderate their drinking will ever understand each other. I know people (typically people who know nothing about drinking) who think everyone who has a drinking problem should quit forever AND go to a rehab program! As if they could never quit on their own! On the other hand, _I_ can’t understand why it’s harder for some people to stop at one or two drinks than to stop altogether.
I think we should realize that many people drink too much from time to time–the vast majority deal with it on their own, without ever identifying as alcoholic, still less seeking professional help. And a change in life circumstances (like graduating from college, making new friends, or having children) often eliminates the problem.
Two caveats:
What is this about “blood sugar issues, the body’s ability to metabolize alcoholic, etc”?
Also, I think that we will never know if alcoholism according to your definition really exists. We hear people say that they are unable to drink in moderation, but how do we know they’re not just trying to justify their own weakness?
I’m thinking I should have put the word “allergic” in quotes–it was more of an analogy than anything else–i.e. alcohol is poison to a recovered alcoholic’s body just as wheat/gluten are poison to a person with celiac.
Here is a definition/explanation that makes some sense to me. One has crossed the line into addiction when s/he is obsessed with his/her drug of choice. A person who is addicted might, quite literally, be drinking or planning his/her next drink on a constant basis. At this point drinking or using is no longer fun or relaxing. The individual drinks or uses to feel “normal.”
Another hallmark of addiction is the presence of secrets, lies, and silence. Usually, an addict routinely lies to the people in his or her life in the service of the addiction. The drug of choice comes first, second and third.
On the origins of addiction? Maybe there’s is an underlying biologic predisposition that may be triggered by life events? Maybe that’s an overly safe theory.
So, perhaps there could be a model where a person drinks frequently, but lacks the other characteristics? Maybe your mom’s comment about personality refers to the absence or presence of the obsessive feature?
Great blog, Leah. This a really interesting topic. I hope there are additional posts.
Ooh dang i just typed a big comment and as soon as i submitted it it came up blank! Please tell me it worked properly? I dont want to write it again if i dont have to! Either the blog glitced out or i am an idiot, the latter doesnt surprise me lol.
Hi just figured i would let you know i had a issue with this blog coming up blank also. Must be monkeys in the system.
well, i’m an alcoholic. i’ve tried a few thousand times(yup, literally)to drink in moderation, and on 5 occasions i did(meaning on 5 occasions i had less than 5 drinks). heavy drinking and hangovers do not make someone an alcoholic. the inability to drink in moderation makes someone an alcoholic. the inability to stop drinking once you’ve started makes someone an alcoholic. it’s not rocket science, really. and there’s no stigma, at least in my mind, about the term ‘alcoholic’. it just is. just as i am an alcoholic. maybe you are, maybe you aren’t, it’s none of my business. all i know is that i can’t drink or else i end up in very, very bad places(as proven to myself a few thousand times over a few decades).
I have known a few people that I would term as alcoholics and they seem to all have one thing in common; once they start drinking they cannot stop until either all of the alcohol is gone or they become totally incapacitated. True they sometimes miss work and deny or ignore their personal or professional responsibilities, but these behaviors are common to so many other diseases/problems other than alcoholism that this seems an overly simplistic way to label a very specific problem. I’d still stick with my opinion of the fact that for them “one is too much because 12 is not enough.” Best regards, JC