Alcoholics Anonymous used to be the great equalizer: Rich or poor, famous or unknown, everyone was an addict, and everyone sat on the same hard chairs, in the same church basement, drinking the same bad coffee. My mom used to tell me about all the politicians and other muckety-mucks in her Washington-area AA meetings (never naming names, of course, but just mentioning that this or that famous person was there, as if to prove she was in good company). And that was a good thing, especially for celebrities and other narcissists, who needed the humbling.
Then along came fancy rehab centers (yes, there’s always been Betty Ford, but usually after rehab, those people went straight to AA), Celebrity Rehab with Doctor Drew, and now–sober coaches–a sort of first-class airplane ticket to sobriety.
Maybe I’m out of the loop, but I learned about sober coaches for the first time, recently, when I happened to be reading about Brooke Mueller & Charlie Sheen’s early-morning knife fight (yes, I admit, I was kind of fascinated). Since both celebs apparently have a history of alcoholism and addiction, they had their Sober coaches on hand that morning. So what is a sober coach? Basically, it’s a person you pay to help you stay sober, after you leave rehab. Apparently, if you don’t feel like going to AA and hanging around those icky basements, the one-person AA meeting will come to you. How’s that working for you, Charlie Sheen?
For $40-$100 per hour, companies like Sober Champion will appoint someone to be your “sober escort” (to take you from point A to point B, such as on an airplane) or your “sober coach” (your companion for a finite number of hours). If you’re willing to shell out up to $1800 a day, you too can have a “sober companion,” who will go through all your stuff to make sure you’re not hiding booze or drugs, and basically follow you around, coaching you, praying with you, and helping you find ingenious alternatives to boozing (i.e. meditating, taking a bath, exercising). Sorry, but sober coaches are not generally covered by insurance, so you’ll have to shell out all the dough yourself. The maximum suggested time for the 24/7 sober coach is 90 days. Celebrities like Drew Barrymore, Owen Wilson, Robert Downey, Jr., Lindsay Lohan and Mary-Kate Olsen have used sober coaches.
Frankly, not that I’m his mother or anything, but what Charlie Sheen needs is a bad cup of coffee and a basement full of regular people calling him on his shit, not a suck-up sober handler who charges him $650-1800 day. Ditto Lindsay Lohan et al. The cure for narcissism is a dose of reality. One of the most helpful cures for addiction is to find a community of people who can bolster and support you, and who you in turn can bolster and support. Sober coaches offer a community of one–a one-sided arrangement.
I’m sure there are cases where sober coaches have saved peoples’ lives, and that’s nothing to sneeze at. They have testimonials out the wazoo from grateful celebs, I’m sure. But still…
What I don’t get is that AA has always offered sober coaches–for free! They’re called “sponsors,” and they are AA veterans with years of sobriety under their belts. If it’s hard for celebrities to attend public meetings, couldn’t they have celebrity AA meetings or something? And get this–one of the sober coaching companies is called “Hired Power.” A sellout G-d. How ironic.
Exactly!
Couldn’t agree with you more! The people I have known that have successfully battled an addiction have done so with a sense humility and personal responsibility. Two things that don’t have a price tag!
hi– followed your link on She Writes. Wow.
Well, I have to say that for me, as an alcohol-abstinent person who has found AA w-a-a-y too disempowering and regimented and regulated, there are other ways of staying sober. This is a hugely entertaining piece and your blog is fascinating. my personal belief is that addicts need help with their denial, but most of us feel like we are nothing anyway, and we also need self-belief. All of that is antithetical to AA. best Jenne’
Coming to this late– but thanks! xxxj
I know you mean well and I certainly agree with you in regard to 12 step meetings. I’m a member myself who regularly attends meetings and I’m also a sober coach who works with those people who come in and out of recovery and rehab programs and continue to use. I’m not a sponsor to my clients, I take them to meetings but what I do most of all is i bring hope to the addict who cannot stay clean even in the rooms of recovery and I’m sure that you’ve met those addicts who continue to suffer. I can only hope to inspire in these addicts their own desire and willingness to get clean & sober and more importantly to find recovery. There is not “one size fits all”. I believe that the 12 step meetings are the best and most lasting ways to find recovery and what is better than to be on that boat to recovery than with alot of clean & Sober friends.
Hi,
For me, as a narcicist, the only dose of humilty that I can get is recognizing my human misery in front of many people. No humilty no sober
As a woman in recovery, I agree with jenne andrews. I attended AA for a year but didn’t find its approach of tearing down your ego helpful. My sponsor didn’t charge me, but she was also far from the picture of mental health. Half the time it felt like the blind leading the blind. If you’re struggling to get sober, there are several alternatives to 12-step programs such as LifeRing or Women for Sobriety.
835 S. Claudina St. Apt. #B Cell # (949) 228-7724
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pennilee@sbcglobal.net
Penny Lee
Objective : To obtain a position as a Drug and Alcohol Counselor utilizing my education and life experience helping people that suffer from a disease, begin a new way of life.
For all you people who do not know what a sober coach does, please let me explain. One of the jobs of a sober coach is to take the client to a 12 step meeting every day they work with them. The majority 98% of sober coaches are all in recovery whether AA or NA, so to think that the stinking basement and the lousy coffee and the humbling experience does not happen with a sober coach is incorrect. i hope this helps all you uninformed.
I understand what you are trying to say, but sober companions/sober coaches are not “sponsors” or “babysitters”. I can’t speak for other sober companions that keep their clients on as long as they can keep them. I work with clients for as short amount of time as possible and in the process guide them into a 12 step fellowship that works for them, while at the same time help them acclimate into life. Treatment is also suggested in the literature of all 12 step programs. There is also a part about traditions in all of them about anonymity.
AA has become so watered down by half of the people who have not done the steps, followed the traditions and they then make money off addiction. These people call themselves Sober Coaches, form communities to help themselves feel better and make money off the addict, they can’t get a job in the real world. Most of them burnt bridges while they were active and reinvented their sick self’s to feel important and some never finished school.. Read the Big Book. As far as knowing what a Sober Coach is it is a scam, a loser that feels empowered by knowledge of self. Someone that thinks they are entitled to change AA and then admit to going to meetings for their selfish reasons . They are super losers. You can not buy AA
I love the article above for it shares how AA for some people a place were they see and feel it is the only solution for everyone and they have all the answers. Yes I attened meetings for years 3 times a day 7 days a week and I did everything I was supposed to do and everything I was aked to do. I never judge and I never put down others who want to get sober no matter what, meaning if they are addicts then they have the right to go to AA meetings for the common interst is sobierty! PERIOD…
It is the AA Nazi’s that turn me off and why I see things as I do. There is more to sobierty then quit drinking and telling storys day in and day out. There is a lot that they can do and there is a lot they can’t do so to the ones who seem to be scared or RESENT people helping others for a living, well I sugest you talk to your sponsor about it! (LOL)
Thank you Steve for your eloquent statement, you are spot-on. I believe that the literature of A.A. speaks about a sponsor who being someone who guides the sponsee through the 12 steps and traditions of A.A. along with the first 164 pages of the “Big Book”. If a sponsor is performing/providing more service than that, they are OVER STEPPING THE BOUNDARIES!!!!!! A sober coach provides the suggestion/direction for their client to be an active member of Alcoholics Anonymous along with other solutions, resources and organizations to live their life in a sober manor.
I think the article expressed some valid truths! However, to anyone that finds AA “disempowering” and that addressing issues with “denial and self-belief” is “antiethical”… I don’t know what meeting(s) you attended, but that’s Step one all day long… admitting we are powerless. And for some, the “exact nature” of their addiction is a lack of self-acceptance. I agree there are AA “nazis” and no one particular group is perfect… it’s not supposed to be. We don’t strive to be perfect, for that is an impossible and futile task for any human being. What the 12 step programs provide is a set of spiritual principles, not religous, by which we strive to practice in “all our affairs”. And by the way, there is no known cure for the disease of addiction. It can only be arrested, a day at a time, and then recovery is possible. Abstinence does NOT equal recovery.
These are some of the jewels I get going to those meetings in the basement church … I just bring my on coffee!
*church basement
*own
After receiving a Masters degree (1997) in Psychology I became CADAC certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor (2001) and worked at Residential Treatment Facilities in Malibu and others. I went back to Fielding Graduate University to finish my Doctoral in Human and Organizational Psychology where I became ICF Evidence Based Coach Certified along with Certification in Integral Studies. I have been one one one Primary Counselor and group Therapy Facilitator for ten years while teaching DUI classes for Claire Foundation for 5 years. I have been practicing as a Executive and Life Couch for approx. 3 years and would like to specialize in Sober Coaching. If you think I could fit into your Organization, I would appreciate a call to engage in further interviewing. Please Call Craig Duro at 310 623 2035. I have several other certifications such as Somatic Training, Trauma and Art Therapy as well as crisis management and Stress Release. 28 years 12 step Recovery
After receiving a Masters degree (1997) in Psychology I became CADAC certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor (2001) and worked at Residential Treatment Facilities in Malibu and others. I went back to Fielding Graduate University to finish my Doctoral in Human and Organizational Psychology where I became ICF Evidence Based Coach Certified along with Certification in Integral Studies. I have been one one one Primary Counselor and group Therapy Facilitator for ten years while teaching DUI classes for Claire Foundation for 5 years. I have been practicing as a Executive and Life Couch for approx. 3 years and would like to specialize in Sober Coaching. If you think I could fit into your Organization, I would appreciate a call to engage in further interviewing. Please Call Craig Duro at 310 623 2035. I have several other certifications such as Somatic Training, Trauma and Art Therapy as well as crisis management and Stress Release.