If you have a kid in college, chances are she’ll be all ears while watching the second presidential debate on October 16. She may be listening particularly closely to key words and phrases, such as “Obamacare” and “Al Qaeda.” Her focus, however, will not be intended for note taking or reporting back to her Poli Sci professor about diverging opinions on healthcare and homeland security. Rather, she’ll be listening for her cue to down a vodka shot or swig from a gin and tonic.

When I heard about the latest round of debate drinking games, my first thought was how my seventh grader likely came away from the first presidential showdown with more knowledge than my college sophomore. She just probably woke up with a hangover. And my second thought–I probably would’ve been doing the exact same thing back in 1980-something. Or maybe I did and just don’t remember.

In any event, there’s more debate drinking to be done with both the upcoming Vice Presidential debate and the next Obama v. Romney face-off at Hofstra University.

The College Humor site had a long list of potential drinking cues, and even a couple that involve abstaining. Here are some highlights:

• Take a sip every time Obama starts a sentence with “Look…”

• Take a sip every time Mitt Romney awkwardly chuckles.

• Take a sip every time a candidate refers to his wife.

• Politely refrain from drinking every time Mormonism is mentioned.

• Get your infrared goggles and chug in the dark every time the killing of Osama bin Laden is mentioned.

• Take two sips every time Romney mispronounces a black or Hispanic person’s name.

• Take a shot and then two more any time Mitt Romney makes a genuinely funny joke.

• If you agree with everything a particular candidate says, finish your Kool-Aid.

You get the picture. All I know is that come October 16th, I’ll likely be counting the number of times the candidates mention their wives or the term Mormonism, hoping my daughter is safely studying in the library rather than “watching” the debate.

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These are the next four items on my cultural to-do list:

*Watch Lena Dunham’s GIRLS (yes, I admit I’m way behind on this one, but I’m dying to see it and I’ve read a lot about it.)

*Read Caitlin Moran’s hit memoir, HOW TO BE A WOMAN, exported from the UK

*Read Sheila Heti’s hipster-chick “reality-style” novel, HOW SHOULD A PERSON BE?

*Watch badass goalie Hope Solo lead the U.S. Soccer Team to victory (I hope!) in the 2012 Olympics

I’m as enamored of these media darlings as everyone else. Why? Because they seem like women I’d want to hang out with: fun women; honest women; loose women (and by loose, I mean not uptight); quirkily gorgeous women; women who have their pulse on what’s cool; women who (as Peggy Orenstein describes Caitlin Moran in her profile on Slate.com), have a “let’s all be feminists at the pub” charm. They’ve been called outrageous, funny, fearless.

They are–at least as portrayed by the media (and by themselves)–women who love to drink.

We seem to be in a cultural moment where we’re in love with women who love to drink. I’m not talking about women who drink to excess (who are subject to public shaming and ridicule–think Lindsay Lohan, and cocktail moms gone wild). I’m talking about a certain type of woman drinker: I’ll call her the laid-back drinker; the one who drinks and then goes on with her daily life, (seemingly). This may be a media construct, but it’s a powerful one.

A recent Daily Beast profile of star soccer goalie Hope Solo humanizes her by showing her in her hotel room as she’s being interviewed, drinking a mimosa (or two). Apparently, she appeared drunk on the Today show in 2008, and can be quite the partier.

The headline for Peggy Orenstein’s profile of Moran on Slate.com reads, in part: “The drunken, furious, delightful life of Caitlin Moran…”

Drunken. Furious. Delightful.

What modern-day feminista wouldn’t thrill at the combination of the words furious and delightful? And then there’s that little frisson you get from the “drunken” part, because in our culture, it’s still considered transgressive to get drunk.

But is getting drunk really that transgressive, when drinking is more the norm (in America and the UK, at least) than not drinking?

If you read Orenstein’s profile, you’ll see that Moran is actually the responsible mother of two teenage daughters (she had them when she was 28), so to call her life “drunken” isn’t exactly accurate, since it’s kind of hard to raise really happy, really great girls (which Moran says she has) if you’re constantly sloshed.

In Orenstein’s profile, Moran says: “It’s always seen as this binary thing with women…You’re either going to be rock ‘n’ roll or you’re going to be a housewife. It’s either cupcakes or crack. I wanted both. And I got it.”  (She was joking about the crack part, but you get the picture—the free-wheeling drinker, I’ll call her—the woman who can drink as she pleases, and then switch gears at the drop of a hat, ditch the hangover, and nurture her daughters.).

So—big reveal—Moran is a mom who drinks. A cocktail mom!

As I read Orenstein’s profile, I felt a growing uneasiness. Moran tends to describe her memoir as “an update of Germaine Greer’s The Female Eunuch written from a bar stool.” How is sitting on a bar stool transgressive, I wondered? How is that new?

And what about Lena Dunham, who has been called“agonizingly funny” and “fearless” in Rolling Stone magazine, no less. A piece on Dunham on Gothamist ran with a map, complete with wine glasses marking the spots where Dunham loves to drink with her pals. The piece was titled, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: Lena Dunham Tells Us Where She And Her Girls Hang.”

Because that’s what cool, fearless girls do when they hang out: they drink. Or so it seems.

Is this really what’s new and different about Lena Dunham?

Despite the fact that Sheila Heti’s fictional doppelganger, Sheila, and her friends engage in “prolific drinking and drugging” in HOW SHOULD A PERSON BE, they are, according to the LA Review of Books, “at bottom, quite wholesome: they hold most of their conversations during walks, they ride their bikes to each other’s houses.” Again with the wholesome, laid-back drinker thing.

I’m not trying to be a buzzkill here, and I’m not saying I wouldn’t like to hang out with these women. What I’m doing is questioning the pairing of fearless girl/feminist with drinker.

And again: Orenstein quotes Moran:  “Drunk women love me…I have cornered the market in wasted chicks who talk about their vag!” It’s easy to talk about your “vag” when you’re drunk, but what about when you’re sober? Do you dare to talk frankly, then? That’s even more transgressive, in my mind.

Of course they drink, you say, shaking your head. They’re part of our culture, and everyone drinks. You drink. Your husband drinks. Get over it.

(Except alcoholics. Poor them.)

Well yes. Yes.

But I guess I was hoping for some sort of paradigm shift, not the same old “feminists can drink men under the table” thing.

These women, at least as they’re being portrayed and portraying themselves, aren’t being outrageous, fearless and pathbreaking when they drink. They’re simply participating in what the dominant culture does.

Call them recorders of life. Call them absorbers, or mirrors. But don’t call them renegades.

In her Slate.com interview, Moran names some of the women she idolizes:

“I just want Tina Fey to be my best friend…And Lena Dunham. And Oprah, too. I just want those three chicks to read it and say, ‘You did good.’ Just those three…And Roseanne Barr. Four. I only really want to sell four copies in America. If I can sell it to those four chicks … and Hillary. OK five. And Michelle Obama. OK six. If I could get those six women to read it …”

Tina Fey. Oprah. Michelle Obama. These three women are not, to my knowledge, big drinkers, and are certainly not portrayed as such.

The real issue is: perhaps the media is obscuring how radical these women really are, or could be, by focusing on the drinking.The drinking is the least special, least fearless thing about them, so why not highlight something else?

Maybe Moran nailed it by naming these women as her mentors. Maybe these non-hipsters are the outrageous ones, the true renegades, after all-the ones who dare to be uncool.

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My 11-year-old son watches a ton of sports on television. Weekday evenings (after his homework is done, of course) and weekend afternoons are often spent surfing from basketball to baseball and back again. If there’s a tennis match or horse racing on, he may watch that too. With all the game and tournament coverage, however, come a constant stream of commercials—a great number of which are for the likes of an ice cold Bud, Michelob, or Coors Light.

So do watching, singing along with and remembering these frequent beer and booze advertisements mean he is more likely to drink alcohol as an adolescent? Apparently, yes, that’s a distinct possibility, according to a new study reported in Science Daily.

In the study, conducted at the Children’s Hospital at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center, researchers questioned more than 2,500 young people ranging from 15 to 20 years old about their exposure to alcohol, if they had a favorite alcohol ad, and if they owned alcohol-branded merchandise, among other behaviors.

After being shown 20 images from the most popular TV ads for alcohol, with the brand names removed, the participants were then asked if they remembered the ads, liked the ads and knew about the products being advertised.

The results showed that 59 percent of underage kids drank alcohol. Of those who drank, 49 percent had engaged in binge drinking (had more than six drinks in a row) at least once the previous year. Familiarity with TV alcohol advertising was much higher among the drinkers than nondrinkers, and having alcohol-branded merchandise or having a favorite alcohol ad was linked to more hazardous drinking.

“Underage drinking remains an important health risk in the U.S.,” said lead author Susanne E. Tanski, MD, MPH, FAAP, assistant professor in the Department of Pediatrics at Children’s Hospital at Dartmouth, Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center. “In this study, we have shown a link between recognition of nationally televised alcohol advertisements and underage drinking initiation and heavier use patterns.”

I have to admit, I’ve never paid much attention to the product when my son calls me over to watch his favorite commercial of-the-moment. It’s usually the witty tune or humor that he’s urging me to notice. But after learning about this study and its results, I may encourage him to take a bathroom break or go grab a snack when the game on the screen is interrupted for a commercial break.

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Okay, I’ll admit it: I watch the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and I love it. I know it’s de rigueur to call reality TV a “guilty pleasure” and feel ashamed for not reading back issues of The New Yorker instead, but it’s actually gotten me thinking about drinking.

Here are some of my thoughts:

The Show Accurately Reflects Our Booze-Soaked Culture: Just as drinking has played a central role in all cultures since the beginning of time, so alcohol is an unacknowledged main character in the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Watch any scene of the ladies staying in or going out, and chardonnay, margaritas or some other kind of booze is most likely involved. Listen to their grateful sighs as someone hands them a glass.

The Beverly Hills Housewives, C’est Moi: It’s easy for me to watch the show and shake my head or roll my eyes, thinking, Thank God I’m nothing like these women. But underneath the boob jobs, botox and Mean Girl smiles, these women are just as vulnerable and damaged as everyone else. Watch for the human moments, like Kyle’s strained relationship with her troubled sister, Kim. She alternates between wanting to protect Kim and wanting to wring her neck.  When Kyle spots Kim walking into the opening of Lisa’s latest restaurant after they’ve had a monstrous fight, she summons the waiter, jokes about “needing a drink” and gives a sly wink. But we all know she’s serious. Many women have troubled relationships with family members, and just like many of us, Kyle sometimes uses alcohol to cope with the stress.

Drinking is Like Russian roulette: Thrilling for many, potentially deadly for some. When it comes to drinking, life’s not fair. Some women, like Kyle Richards, can keep up with the best of ‘em, participating in seemingly endless alcohol-soaked “Girls’ Night Outs” without many repercussions. Others, like her sister, Kim, take a bullet when they drink. There’s no use bemoaning the fact that it’s unfair—that’s just the way it is.

There But For the Grace of God Go We All: It’s easy to judge Kim more harshly than the rest of the women—as an out-of-control, weepy mess. But why? They all drink, and sometimes when they do, they behave in strange ways (see Brandi Glanville’s bizarre, loopy behavior on the way to Hawaii, and Taylor Armstrong’s drunken weeping fits). Kim just happens to have a body/mind chemistry not suited to holding her liquor (and whatever else she might have been on).

Drinking Can be a Great Force for Bonding: I’ll admit it: sometimes, when I watch the women sitting around one of their houses, clinking glasses, I wish I were sitting right there with them. Why? Because it reminds me of the ritual fun of Girl’s Night Out, of times when a bottle of wine loosens lips and creates a comfortable space for sharing and/or hilarity. Can you picture the show without the booze? Can you imagine the women, some of them near-strangers at the beginning of the season—opening up to each other as quickly as they do, stirring up so much drama—without the booze?

When It Comes to Addiction, The Show Is a Litmus Test: At times, when I’m watching the show, there’s a voice in my head that nags, Why can’t Kim just quit? Can’t she see how irrational she’s being? How bizarre? How much her behavior (her chronic lateness, for one) is driving everyone crazy? I find myself getting mad at her for her selfishness, her weakness. That’s when I remember why it’s hard for me to have compassion: Like Kyle, I, too, have lived at the effect of addicts. Both my mother and sister have struggled with addiction. I, too, have felt a mixture of anger, pity, guilt and love. I know what it feels like to want to help but not be able to. So when I empathize with Kyle and disparage Kim in my mind, I know that I need to reboot and remind myself of that thing called compassion. It’s a struggle for us children of alcoholics. I have to remind myself that Kim doesn’t want to be “like that.” Her addiction has taken over, and she’s powerless. At the same time, I find myself talking to Kyle when she’s on the screen, saying, “Give yourself a time out. You don’t have to be the fall guy. You have to live your own life, too.”

The show reflects many of the contradictions that we embrace on our Drinking Diaries blog. We live in a drinking world, and there’s got to be a way for drinkers and non-drinkers to peacefully co-exist, to understand each other and be respectful.

On the last episode of this season, as I watched Lisa, Adrienne, Kyle, Camille and even a battle-scarred Taylor gathering for yet another round of champagne, clinking glasses in yet another toast, I found myself worrying about Kim. A sidebar comment revealed that she went to rehab, and all I could think was: How will she re-enter this group, with all the drinking? Will she be able to resist the temptation? Will they adopt different behaviors around her? Will Kyle feel too guilty to drink around her?

Even though the Real Housewives takes place in the surreal world of Beverly Hills, these are issues many of us will face, no matter where we live.

Rumors are going around that Kim won’t return for the next season because she’ll be too fragile, too vulnerable. But perhaps that’s where her real story starts. When she comes back from rehab, if she manages to stay sober, Kim Richards, the butt of many a joke and stolen glance—may turn the tables on everyone. She may actually end up being the sanest housewife of them all—a role model for others who are struggling to stay sober in a sodden land.

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by Thelma Adams

It strikes me as strange that in this era of Charlie Sheen “winning” and celebrity rehab shows, so much of the criticism heaved on the remake of Arthur has to do with the fact that the title character played by Russell Brand (and Dudley Moore in the 1981 original) drinks too much. True he’s a jolly drunk, which apparently makes it worse. How dare he enjoy drinking?

Well, I don’t know about you, but that’s where my drinking began. Certainly, when I started sneaking drinks in high school, I wasn’t drinking to forget. I lived in a stable, middle-class home. What could I have had to forget: My math homework? Although, I confess, I did use alcohol to overcome my inhibitions.

The delight in watching Brand’s libertine aristocrat, his drunken Peter Pan refusing to grow up, is that while he’s inebriated, he says all the things we think but won’t let pass our lips. And that’s what makes his character amusing.

When Arthur notices that Jennifer Garner’s character, his fiancé, has “clown lips,” I nodded in agreement. Why hadn’t I thought of that before and used it in a review of the actress?

Drinking and self-editing don’t mix, which can have both entertaining and disastrous effects. For most of Arthur, I found it entertaining. Part of it was that I refused to submit to the sobering tendency of most critics to compare it to the original. Lighten up! Have a drink!

But given that we’re in the 21^st century, Arthur must confront the fact that part of growing up is facing his drinking “problem.” So, in this remake, the drunken heir attends AA. It’s a grim, self-castigating affair in a church hall.

Arthur, appalled, can’t join in. Hey, the guy isn’t much of a joiner, period. And his grasp of reality is tenuous, something that’s not entirely due to drink, but economics.

At the meeting, since Arthur’s nanny (played by Helen Mirren) has dragged him in to the self-loathing salon, she also steps in as a surrogate sharer. It’s the nanny, not Arthur, who gives the man’s confessional story of woe: Daddy died; Mommy withheld love.

It’s sweetly funny to see Mirren standing in for her charge, symbolically wiping Arthur’s winky even in this adult forum. And there’s a moment of catharsis for the character in recognizing that he might not be ready for 12 Steps, but he could use taking a first step towards owning both his pain and his potential happiness.

While I find it easy to embrace this kind of drunken behavior on screen – and find it preferable to Nicolas Cage’s alcoholic melancholy in Leaving Las Vegas – I may be in the minority. It seems that American critics, and possibly audiences, have become increasingly judgmental about unrepentant drinkers. In this remake, Arthur repents a bit, but apparently not enough for contemporary viewers.

Is it possible that Americans have become even more judgmental, more Puritanical, about alcohol addiction since Arthur first hit the screen in 1981? There have always been drunken characters – Shakespeare’s Falstaff, Jackie Chan’s Drunken Master series, Crazy Guggenheim on the Jackie Gleason Show. So, the characters haven’t entirely changed; it’s our perceptions that have.

Thelma Adams is the author of a novel, Playdate. She has been the film critic at Us Weekly since 2000, following six years at the New York Post. She has twice chaired the New York Film Critics Circle. She has written for many periodicals, including The New York Times Magazine, O: The Oprah Magazine, and The Huffington Post. She lives in Hyde Park, New York, with her husband, son, daughter, three cats, one spaniel and a flock of wild turkeys.

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As you media watchers out there may know, actress Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail Tuesday for her failure to attend alcohol education classes after a series of drunk driving charges dating back to 2007.

I realize that the starlet has a reputation as an out-of-control wild child who thinks she’s immune to the law, but I can’t help feeling sad when I think of the talented young actress from The Parent Trap, Freaky Friday, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen and Mean Girls. My daughters and I have watched and enjoyed all these movies, and it’s a shame to see so much talent and vivacity go down the drain because of alcohol and drug abuse.

I’ve cringed these past few years as my daughters bore witness to Ms. Lohan’s very public downfall, and I found myself hoping she’d turn herself around. I cringe now at the idea of her public “hanging.”

Yes, she should pay the price for driving under the influence, but that doesn’t mean we have to revel in her downfall.

In an article on Forbes online, Kiri Blakeley points to the discrepancy between the media frenzy over Lindsay Lohan’s drunk driving arrests and the relative indifference to male celebrities who behave badly.

One of the reasons for the discrepancy, she writes, has to do with economics—more women than men buy tabloids and magazines, and women supposedly like to read about other women who have it all being taken down a peg or two. It’s a case of give the people what they want.

But is that really what we want? I, for one, would love to see a picture of a clear-eyed, radiant Lindsay Lohan. Then, instead of clicking my tongue and saying to my daughters, “Did you see what happened to Lindsay Lohan?” I could point to her and say, “Look. Anything’s possible. She turned her life around.”

Some people never pull themselves out of the pit of addiction. But there are so many who do. Here’s hoping Lindsay Lohan–and all the others who have to hit rock bottom before they change–can beat their addiction.

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What do American Idol and drinking have in common? Besides being potentially addictive, they’re both ubiquitous. So what could be more fitting than American Idol drinking games?

Yes, while Simon, Ellen, Kara and Randy sip from their plastic tumblers of Coke, you could be having a party–drinking beer, wine, Jack Daniels, or what-have-you–creatively combining two passions.

Here, courtesy of BJ Abel of Associated Content, are a few drinking games. Not that you’d be playing them, of course, but for American Idol fans, they’re kind of amusing:

Game Number One:

The rules are simple. When a Judge says one of their stock phrases, drink. You can assign a specific judge to each contestant or everyone can drink on every Judge.

Here are the most common phrases or actions used by the Idol Judges:

Randy

“It was just alright for me, dude”

“You made it your own”

“I wasn’t feelin’ it”

“That song was too big for you”

“Dawg” or “dude” to female, “baby” to male

“Keeping it real” or “good lookin’ out”

Simon

“It was a complete and utter mess”

Talks about being honest (example. “If I’m going to be honest”)

Asks if the contestant knows that “this is a SINGING competition”

Uses the word “karaoke” or “cabaret”

Uses the word “Horrible” or any variation of the word (i.e. horrific, horrendous, etc)

Kara

Demonstrates how she could have sung it better

“Pitchy” is used

Talks about how she would sign the person today

Calls a contestant “sweetheart” or “sweetie”

Ellen

Says “I like you. I really like you”

Calls a contestant “adorable”

Game Number Two:

Create an action that players have to do every time a contestant or judge says a key word.

Every time an American Idol contestant says “I am the next American Idol,” the  last person to stand up has to drink

If an American Idol contestant claims they are sick, the first person to say “BS” gets to give a drink to someone.

Every time one of the judges uses a key word or phrase, the last person to stand up has to drink. Some examples are:

“Pitchy”

“That was a perfect song”

“This is what the competition is all about”

Be creative and be sure to use your favorite American Idol Phrases to have more fun.

ANY WORDS OR PHRASES WE MISSED?

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Alcoholics Anonymous used to be the great equalizer: Rich or poor, famous or unknown, everyone was an addict, and everyone sat on the same hard chairs, in the same church basement, drinking the same bad coffee. My mom used to tell me about all the politicians and other muckety-mucks in her Washington-area AA meetings (never naming names, of course, but just mentioning that this or that famous person was there, as if to prove she was in good company). And that was a good thing, especially for celebrities and other narcissists, who needed the humbling.

Then along came fancy rehab centers (yes, there’s always been Betty Ford, but usually after rehab, those people went straight to AA), Celebrity Rehab with Doctor Drew, and now–sober coaches–a sort of first-class airplane ticket to sobriety.

Maybe I’m out of the loop, but I learned about sober coaches for the first time, recently, when I happened to be reading about Brooke Mueller & Charlie Sheen’s early-morning knife fight (yes, I admit, I was kind of fascinated). Since both celebs apparently have a history of alcoholism and addiction, they had their Sober coaches on hand that morning. So what is a sober coach? Basically, it’s a person you pay to help you stay sober, after you leave rehab. Apparently, if you don’t feel like going to AA and hanging around those icky basements, the one-person AA meeting will come to you. How’s that working for you, Charlie Sheen?

For $40-$100 per hour, companies like Sober Champion will appoint someone to be your “sober escort” (to take you from point A to point B, such as on an airplane) or your “sober coach” (your companion for a finite number of hours). If you’re willing to shell out up to $1800 a day, you too can have a “sober companion,” who will go through all your stuff to make sure you’re not hiding booze or drugs, and basically follow you around, coaching you, praying with you, and helping you find ingenious alternatives to boozing (i.e. meditating, taking a bath, exercising). Sorry, but sober coaches are not generally covered by insurance, so you’ll have to shell out all the dough yourself. The maximum suggested time for the 24/7 sober coach is 90 days. Celebrities like Drew Barrymore, Owen Wilson, Robert Downey, Jr., Lindsay Lohan and Mary-Kate Olsen have used sober coaches.

Frankly, not that I’m his mother or anything, but what Charlie Sheen needs is a bad cup of coffee and a basement full of regular people calling him on his shit, not a suck-up sober handler who charges him $650-1800 day. Ditto Lindsay Lohan et al. The cure for narcissism is a dose of reality. One of the most helpful cures for addiction is to find a community of people who can bolster and support you, and who you in turn can bolster and support. Sober coaches offer a community of one–a one-sided arrangement.

I’m sure there are cases where sober coaches have saved peoples’ lives, and that’s nothing to sneeze at. They have testimonials out the wazoo from grateful celebs, I’m sure. But still…

What I don’t get is that AA has always offered sober coaches–for free! They’re called “sponsors,” and they are AA veterans with years of sobriety under their belts. If it’s hard for celebrities to attend public meetings, couldn’t they have celebrity AA meetings or something? And get this–one of the sober coaching companies is called “Hired Power.” A sellout G-d. How ironic.

Think 20-somethings are the biggest boozers? Think again. A new study of Danish and English women found that women with high incomes and good jobs drink more often and more heavily than almost any other group of women. According to the researchers, society’s preoccupation with teen and college-age drinking has led them to overlook another group of heavy drinkers: professional, middle-aged women.

Why the discrepancy? Researchers says it’s because middle-aged drinking is seen as civilized, compared to the drinking-fueled antics of 20-somethings. Middle-aged drinking is simply not as sexy and visible (Is there a “Gossip Girl” or “Sex in the City” for 40 and 50-somethings?) Picture a 20-something drinker and you picture a gaggle of women hitting the bars, socializing. Older women, with serious jobs, relationships and perhaps, families, tend to do more of their drinking in private, at home. But just because they’re not jumping up on bars or hooking up with random men doesn’t mean they’re consuming less.

Over the holidays, I couldn’t resist going to the latest chick flick, IT’S COMPLICATED, a middle-aged woman’s wet dream, whereby Meryl Streep looks amazing and gets romanced by not one, but two, suitors. I don’t know about you, but most of my friends’ moms who were divorced waited years till they found someone else, while their exes seemed to hook up right away. I’m sure that’s not always the case, but let’s face it: IT’S COMPLICATED is total fantasy-land, people, including the drinking.

Oh, the drinking. IT’S COMPLICATED literally made me want to drink. Everyone had such a rosy glow, and when Meryl throws back a few, then a few more, at the bar with Alec Baldwin, she laughs! She dances! She glows! And she has the time of her life. Sure–things do get “complicated,” but if complicated means great sex and lots of admirers, what’s so bad about that? Yes, Meryl Streep’s character does get sick from all the booze. But still–even the scene of her barfing into her nightstand drawer is cute and funny, rather than sad. It’s all in the lighting. Plus, in the movie, she has a fabulous career as the owner of a high-end bakery, a beautiful house, three gorgeous, well-adjusted kids, and an ex-husband who still carries a torch. Oh yeah, and a killer wardrobe.

Meryl Streep drinks with her warm and witty group of girlfriends. She drinks with her ex. She drinks with her kids, and has a ball. She even smokes pot, and makes it look fun (you’ll have to see the movie for yourself to see the Steven Martin/Meryl Streep pot-smoking party scene–hilarious).

All this is to say that the middle-aged, highly educated professional played by Meryl Streep–and all the other middle-aged and above characters in the film who have great wardrobes, big smiles and great jobs–make the twenty-somethings look tame by comparison. So what gives? Is this another part of the IT’S COMPLICATED fantasy-land, or is there some truth to the thought that established women drink just as much as twenty-somethings?

If you’re 40- 50 or 60-something plus and you’re reading this–do you drink more, less, or the same as you did in your twenties?

Right now, while raising three kids, I definitely drink less, mostly because I’m too tired at night, and I’d rather take a bath or read. But I can envision a time, down the road, when the kids are away at college (like Meryl Streep’s kids in IT’S COMPLICATED) and I start traveling, hanging out more with friends, and yes–sharing bottles of wine…Wow–that sounds like fun. (Not to be a downer, but for some women, who have struggled with alcohol-related issues, the drinking in IT’S COMPLICATED must seem like a sugar-coated fantasy–like Russian roulette, because you never know who’s going to be adversely effected).

When I reached legal drinking age in the early 1980s, I was 18 and just entering my freshman year in college. Being legal wasn’t nearly the big monumental moment it seems it is today. I mean, we could already drive, and now we could officially drink, vote, and for some, join the army.

In the mid-80s, in response to increasing numbers of drinking-related highway driving fatalities, and with birth and work of MADD (Mothers Agains Drunk Driving), the drinking age was changed to 21.

Perhaps there are less highway accidents since the legal age has changed, but there are a growing number of deaths from alcohol poisoning, and certainly many college kids who are binge drinking and pounding the “forbidden fruit” like there is no tomorrow.

Last winter, 60 Minutes aired an episode about the drinking age controversy, which has provoked great debate since more than 100 college presidents (including those from Dartmouth and Duke) formed a movement to reduce the legal drinking age to 18. Extreme drinking has become increasingly common on college campuses, and students are often consulting You Tube videos which basically instruct underage kids how to concoct potent combinations of alcohol, such as in the “Irish Car Bomb,” where you mix Guiness beer, whiskey and Bailey’s and drink it all at once.

It is unlikely that the drinking age will change, based on the amount of government agencies that are in favor of keeping it at 21. But at least there’s a debate about it, which, I think, is a good thing.

What do you think the legal drinking age should be?

Move over, men, there’s a new face in drunk driving: the sensible everywoman.

Remember “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk?” and how you couldn’t get that phrase out of your head? Well, the Ad Council, along with the U.S. Department of Transportation’s NHTSA (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration), has come up with an equally unforgettable public service announcement: Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving.

At first glance, the video on You Tube, made to support the latest anti- drunk-driving campaign, looks like business as usual. The camera focuses in on a very drunk blonde, maniacally laughing, clutching her beer bottle.

Then things go all wrong, and she knocks her front teeth out with the beer bottle. Does she get upset? No. As she continues laughing, her missing front teeth prominently displayed, the camera pans over to her friend, who is way more sober, only politely laughing, and is putting on her jacket, ready to leave and, presumably, drive home.

And this is where the twist comes in: Instead of panning back to the smashed woman, the camera pans over to her friend, the sensible-looking brunette (natch), as if to say, Not So Fast! The camera then freezes on the sensible brunette and a voiceover says: Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving. Sobering? I think so. We can laugh at the overly drunk woman, but the buzzed woman–well, the buzzed woman could be anyone you know. It could be you.

If the slogan, “Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving,” sounds vaguely familiar, that’s because it is. The PSA, first released in 2005, was originally targeted at men, ages 21-34. So why the re-release? And why the focus on women, not men? According to the NHTSA, the number of women DUIs rose 30% in the 10 years between 1998 and 2007, while DUIs by men went down.

Television spots are set to air just in time for the winter holidays, but the Ad Council is also betting on social media sites, like Facebook, to spread the message. A visit to the site’s fan page, Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving, turned up 574 fans. The Twitter page has 552 and counting. So far, the You Tube video (described above) has had over 10,000 hits. And there are other videos on You Tube as well.

Seems there was a big flap over School Library Journal’s November cover. (at left). A handful of readers wrote angry letters taking issue with the cover photograph, which showed several notable children’s literature bloggers, some of whom happen to be librarians, holding alcoholic beverages (pink, Mad Men-esque cocktails). I had to admit I got a little nervous reading this snippet from one of the letters: “It certainly doesn’t fit to combine blogging with drinking.” Hmmmm.

I say: Most, if not all, readers of School Library Journal are adults, and kids viewing the cover know that many adults (legally) drink, so what’s the problem here?

I think the real issue is the coexistence of three things: Drinking, School & Library. As one letter-writer wrote: “The cover of the November issue is offensive. It does not portray an image of a school librarian with which I want to be associated.” Yikes!

For some reason, I thought of the scene in School of Rock where Jack Black takes the principal (played by nerd-girl extraordinaire Joan Cusack) out to a bar to butter her up. I remembered how squeamy it made me feel to see Cusack in her prissy teacher persona knock back a few beers and start moving and grooving to Stevie Nicks. Just like we all have to face the fact that yes, our parents have had sex, we also have to accept the reality that the people who work with our children are humans, not saints, and that some of them might occasionally enjoy a cocktail. Is that really so taboo?

And isn’t it better for teens to see responsible members of the community modeling responsible drinking, rather than some unattainable idea of Pollyanna perfection?

My favorite response to the letters was the blogger over at “Collecting Children’s Books,“ who suggested that anyone offended by the “liquored-up” cover–“Mormons, teetotalers, AA members, anyone who lives in a “dry country,” as well as old fuddy-duddies”–should send away for a “replacement alcohol-free” cover, which can be pasted over the offending illustration.”  (See below for her GOT MILK? Cover)

Are you willing to suffer for a svelte figure? Or gulp–give up drinking to lose weight, like former party-girl Kate Hudson? Seems actress Elizabeth Hurley has found another way to stay slim: she switched to vodka. Never mind that she hates the taste. In today’s Daily Mail online, Hurley says, “I don’t really like vodka that much but if I’m at a party I have a small one with a lot of fizzy water and a huge squeeze of lime. Initially it’s like medicine but I’ve got used to it now.”

Some would disagree with giving up wine to lose weight.  As Bonnie Graves points out over at her blog, Girl Meets Grape, wine has no sodium, no cholesterol and no fat. In fact, according to an article published in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition, moderate wine drinkers tend to be slimmer than those who drink absolutely no alcohol.

When it comes to your drinking, would you sacrifice taste for fewer calories? As for me–I’d rather drink nothing at all than sip a drink I didn’t like.

To Elizabeth Hurley and all the beauty-obsessed women, I say–all that obsessing over your weight is going to cause more wrinkles than anything else. And it’s a known fact that the more padding you have on your face, the less visible the wrinkles. So what if you have a little bloating! For godssakes, live a little!

Quick! Name a movie for tweens and up that has no drinking in it….If you think it’s tough to do, you’re right. In a 2006 study, a Dartmouth research team found that “92% of the films in a sample of 601 contemporary movies depicted the use of alcohol. Broken down by ratings, they found that alcohol was used in 52% of G-rated films, 89% for PG, 93% for PG-13 and 95% for R.” http://dms.dartmouth.edu/news/2006_h1/12jan2006_sargent.shtml

Recently, I’ve been thinking about drinking in movies, and how it might look through my tween daughter’s eyes. For her 11th birthday, I took her and a group of friends to see the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic. It was cute and funny, and the girls enjoyed it, but I felt a little uneasy. Not just about the out-of-control spending the movie showed, but also the out-of-control drinking (soft focus, with no real repercussions). As much as I wish my daughter would pick a movie like Whale Rider, she has her own taste.

Many movies for tweens and teens use drinkers as a cautionary tale (The drunk rocker in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen) or as objects of ridicule (the drunk friend in Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist). Or there’s the one drunk night that ends badly (Lindsay Lohan barfing on her crush in Mean Girls).

But by the time women in the movies hit college and beyond, drinking is seen as the ultimate good time (can you think of a wedding-related scene without the obligatory doing-shots or drunk bride scene?), the ultimate cure-all…Much of He’s Just Not That Into You takes place in a bar. Adventureland? 99% drinking. Drinking is a rite of passage; it’s liquid courage (as in Shopaholic); it’s a way to even the score (Remember Karen Allen going head to head with Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones?).

My own random sampling of movies my daughter expressed interest in seeing, or has seen, include: Whip It (She’s dying to see it–lots of power-grrls knocking back drinks), 17 Again (party scenes, drinking), 13 Going on 30 (POOF! Jennifer Garner can legally drink!), 27 Dresses (tons of drinking), Bride Wars (brides-to-be knocking back shots of tequila), and on and on.

Through the eyes of a tween or teen going to the movies, it must seem like A) Almost everybody drinks, and B) You’d be a crashing bore not to…Unless you’re a: VAMPIRE or VAMPIRE-WANNABE! Yes, that’s right. I answered the question I asked at the beginning of this post. Twilight is a movie with (almost) no drinking, at least by its main characters. The dad drinks a beer with his friend, and Bella hands him a beer, but that’s about it. And that’s because it was written by a—-Mormon!

P.S. Another Dartmouth study by the same group of researchers (see Link above) found that movie images and scenarios influence teen drinking behavior and attitudes almost as much as drinking by parents and peers.

So-what do you think? I’m not a censorship type. Hey–I let my daughter see lots of the movies I named above. I’m just wondering–do you think all this movie drinking has an effect on kids? And do you think there’s a way to balance some of it out? Because even if you don’t drink, trust me–your kid will be confronting many others who do (either live, or on TV or film).