I’m not exactly sure how it happened, but at some point in the last 17 years, Valentine’s Day became more of a holiday about which red, tinsel-covered chocolate I’d buy for my kids, and less of a Cupid-filled one for my husband and me (I like to believe we don’t need a Hallmark holiday for that, anyway).

Although romance has a time and a place in our everyday lives, I do recall a particular time when my husband and I went away for a weekend in search of something a little more special, surrounded by the vines and wines of California’s Napa Valley. Unfortunately, it didn’t turn out quite like we’d expected.

After a lazy morning and breakfast at the inn where we were staying, we ambled into town to rent bicycles to fulfill our romantic mission of visiting wineries on two wheels. It turned out that the only bicycle available was a tandem bike, for two. We took it. Sounds romantic–perhaps for the couple where one partner does ALL the driving–but it quickly turned into a rather memorable nightmare.

“You’re going too fast. Can’t you hit the brakes once in a while?” I yelled from the rear.

“Stop braking!” my husband retorted with frustration. “We’ll never make it up the next hill if we don’t get any speed.”

With each winery, and each tasting, the fighting got more intense (I’ll admit, I was probably the more vocal complainer). By the afternoon, we were hardly speaking to one another. But then, we arrived at a winery where wine was not the only thing on the tasting menu.

Chocolate. They offered each visitor a bowl filled with rich, dark chunks of mouth-watering chocolate to taste with their mouth-watering Zinfandel. Everything in me got a little lighter, smoother, mellower (no more yelling on the bike; now I let him do the pedaling, the breaking, all the work). It’s been more than ten years since that Napa trip, and I still remember the chocolate melting on my tongue, washed down with the spice of the full-bodied wine.

I was hooked. Not on the wine, but on the pairing of the two, and it seems I’m not alone.

While doing some research, I came across numerous articles and websites featuring the dangerously sexy combo of wine and chocolate. The different types of Green & Black Chocolates (70% dark is a personal favorite) are featured on About.com. And you can get some good tips on pairing wine and chocolate on The Daily Sip.

The chart below, from The Nibble.com, was taken from a survey in which they asked readers, “What Do You Drink With Chocolate?”

Valentine’s Day or not, romance or not, there’s always chocolate AND/OR wine…

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Depending on the mood you want to set this Valentines Day, it seems there’s a cocktail to fit. Seduction Meals, a website devoted to combining food and drink with passion, has some great recipes. Their motto: Igniting Flames of Passion…One Meal at a Time. Sounds good to us.

Feeling romantic? Then try making your sweetie the Happily Ever After or the Be Mine Mojito. Sexy? There’s Love in the Afternoon, Tongue Tied, or Love Elixir (pictured). Or if you’re like me and you’re chocolate-obsessed, you can go for Death by Chocolate or the White Chocolate Martini. For those who don’t drink,  just leave out the booze (depending on the recipe), and you’ve still got a great non-alcoholic drink.  

If you’re drinking on Valentines Day, you might want to consider one thing: stay hydrated. According to Dr. Harold Katz, founder of the website, therabreath.com, you should drink one glass of water between each cocktail. Drinking can lead to dehydration (not to mention a hangover), and a dry mouth causes bad breath. Dr. Katz also recommends steering clear of sweets on V. day, since sugar feeds bad breath bacteria. But what if you’re like me, and that’s an impossibility? Pick chocolate. Dark or semi-sweet, not milk. (Something you might want to consider when deciding which cocktail to make).

If you’re like me and my husband and have taco night on V. day, disregard all the above advice, because you’re probably completely oblivious to the breath issue, anyway.

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I don’t know about you, but live music makes me thirsty. Whether it’s the soft acoustic sound of a female vocalist (which may inspire a glass of sauvignon blanc), or the pounding of the bass guitar blaring from stage speakers (definitely a Sam Adams beer or equivalent), music and drinking do not always–but often do–go together for me.

So it seemed the perfect evening when I discovered that the City Winery in NYC, a small restaurant winery/restaurant/music venue where I’d recently sat up close for a Shawn Colvin show (dining on flat bread pizza and sharing a bottle of Malbec with my hubby), was hosting a night of music and wine. Not just any music, but the Top 20 Songs of ALL TIME (voted by listeners of a New York radio sation, 104.3) played by a cover band. With my husband’s nod of approval, I booked us two tickets.

We arrived at the City Winery at about 7:00 and had our choice of tables. Once we were seated, our placemat announced the event: “Top 20 Songs Paired with 20 Wines!” This would be a night to remember. Thankfully, there would also be a smattering of 6 small food courses.

On our right sat a youngish couple–he was a music-lover and chef at nearby restaurant whose family owned the largest chain of head shops on the East Coast (no joke); his wife was a wine-loving bartender. To our left was a table of three 30-something women, all married  but clearly out for a girls’ night of fun.

The band, all the way from Long Island, got on stage and started with the Rolling Stones’ “Gimme Shelter,” which was paired with a glass of Cava, a sparkling wine from Spain. From there, musical highlights included Billy Joel’s “Piano Man,” The Beatles’ “Let It Be,” Bruce’s “Thunder Road” and of course, Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Free Bird.”

As the music and wine countdown progressed from number 20 to number 1, more and more people–mostly women–got looser and got up to dance. And that’s when it hit me, live music makes people happy. And alcohol makes people less inhibited (or me, anyway) and freer to shake their booty. I watched these women strutting and waving their arms, and I knew exactly how they felt–free of judgement and inspired to move with the beat. It was beautiful. One of them even snuck onto the stage, dancing behind the band members while they played, and waving to her two friends beside me. It was hilarious.

My husband isn’t a big dancer, so I just bounced around (a lot) in my seat, clapping, shouting and waving my arms in between sips of a Cabernet or Pouilly Fume. I contemplated getting up and dancing with the gals who bonded as they boogied, but decided to stay in my seat. Music and wine. It was just pure fun.

by Nicole Gerszberg

Overstuffed tote bags and preppy, nautical attire are but two of the essentials necessary for one to make the trek from New York City to the Hamptons or Montauk on a Friday afternoon. Not to mention the traveler’s drink of choice—maybe a glass of chilled white wine or a can of beer—intended to ease him/her into the weekend early and make the journey of three plus hours a little more bearable.

A recent NY Times article titled “To the Hamptons, and Step on It!” compared the two most popular ways to get to this summer destination without getting behind the steering wheel (or having a chauffeur to do that for you).  The article recounts stories of various passengers who loyally hop aboard the Jitney, while others endure a sweaty Penn Station terminal and its even rowdier party en route to the Long Island shores. While many flock to the beaches and begin drinking upon their arrival, the party  begins earlier and is a part of the traveling experience for those aboard a Long Island Railroad train car or a more upscale Jitney bus, referred to as the Ambassador.

Those who choose to pay the extra bucks to take the Ambassador are provided with wine and snacks along with their luxury bus seating. Passengers are polite, orderly and often seen quietly reading the newspaper or toying with their iPads over sips of wine.

The train from Penn Station to Montauk is an entirely different scene. Even on early morning train rides out to the beach, riders fill every seat and get their drink on as soon as they leave the station. The ritual of getting the party started before hitting the beach is a highlight for many train travelers.

Crisp white wines and beach cocktails are an essential part of the Hamptons/Montauk experience for many.  But it seems that ride from city side to beachside has become the newest booze locale. As the summer nears to a close with August just around the corner, passengers will be sure to toast its finale—whether it’s sparkling wine in a Dixie cup overflowing onto the train floor or a plastic wine glass on board the Ambassador.

Nicole Gerszberg is a student at Wesleyan University. Her work has been published on “The Choice” blog on NYTimes.com

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With the arrival and great success of the “Mad Men” series on AMC—about to begin its fifth season this Sunday—cocktail culture and martini-filled lunches are back en vogue. And along with the revival of the Manhattan and Sloe Gin Fizz came the growing popularity of the 1960s cocktail dress and the once out-of-date bar accessories, like the cocktail shaker and the perfect martini glass. (To read about a group of editors who tried working while drinking “Mad Men” style, click here).

On a recent trip to Florida, I was fortunate to catch the “Cocktail Culture” exhibit at the Norton Museum in West Palm Beach. Mounted by a team from the Rhode Island School of Design (RISD) and subtitled “Ritual and Invention in American Fashion, 1920-1980,” it is one of the first multi-disciplinary exhibitions to explore the social rituals of the cocktail hour through fashion and design. With more than 150 objects on display, the show covers the world of cocktails—in clubs, at home, in films, and on ships.

As I walked through the show, I was shocked by how much cocktail drinking inspired changes in dress and design throughout the 21^st century. From Prohibition in the 1920s, when drinking took place in secret clubs and private homes, to the shimmery Disco days of the ‘80s, the cocktail was continuously associated with glamour, clever conversation and the potential for excess.

The racy tendency of cocktail drinking may have been initiated during Prohibition, but it carried on with gusto through the repeal of the Eighteenth Amendment and World War II, suburban culture and counterculture crusades.

“The cocktail hour, that suspended time between work and supper, encourage ‘mixing’ of men and women, aided by mixed drinks,” reads the catalog essay by Joanne Dolan Ingersoll, curator of costume and textiles at The Museum of Art at RISD. “In a time when hemlines and roles were prescribed, the cocktail hour created an opportunity for flirtation and social climbing, and with that a desire for lighthearted yet chic fashion distinct from formal evening attire and functional day wear. “

The Cocktail Culture exhibit definitely inspired me to run and buy some vintage highballs, but I restrained myself as our cupboards are already maxed out thanks to my already existing barware fetish (you can read more about that here).

Instead, I loaded up on some fascinating cocktail trivia, some of which I’d like to share.

•During WWII, shortages of materials led to restrictions but also innovations in fashion. Fabric rationing led to a simpler silhouette that called for striking accents, such as hats and shoes made of new materials including straw and cork.

•In the late 1950s and early ‘60s, a youthful counterculture emerged, resulting in designers giving up the romantic shapes and moving toward street styles and beatnik looks. The little black dress, personified in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” became the quintessential must-have for women in all social arenas.

•With the new freedom and nightlife experimentation of the late 1960s’ and 70s’ social upheaval came the jet set, a trendsetting group of artists, actors, musicians, writers, society types and some politicians.

•When the European discothèque crossed the ocean to the U.S. in the 1960s, it became the place where people from all backgrounds—whose dress ranged from pop psychedelic prints to ethnic hippie chic—met to drink and dance all night long.

•The pouf skirt by Christian Lacroix and the padded shoulder power suit came forth in the ’80s, along with the glamorous presentation of mixologists in the movie “Cocktail,” starring Tom Cruise and Bryan Brown.

As I walked toward the exit I stopped to read the following:

“But of course the real masterpieces of American design are the cocktail dresses, the cocktail being the symbol par excellence of the American way of life.” –Christian Dior

And then, I went home to my husband and friends and put out the necessary ingredients for cocktail hour.

This is your brain on holiday partying: If one glass of (insert drink of choice) makes me feel happy and relaxed, two will make me feel twice as good! Four will keep the buzz going. Right? 

Not so fast.

Here is a timeline of how drinking affects your body over the course of one night of partying (Adapted from a post on The Daily Mail):

8 pm: Ahhh…

You know that little sigh you give after you take those first sips? Well, that’s probably the best you’ll feel all night.

Those first drops enter your bloodstream and head straight for your brain’s pleasure centers, boosting the good chemicals, making you feel buzzed and comfortable in your skin.

It’s tempting to drink more, to keep those good feelings flowing. Problem is, after a few more drinks, the brain receptors for these chemicals become saturated and the brain can’t generate enough new chemicals to make you feel as good as when you first started drinking.

TIP 1: Eat a small meal before you drink.

The food in your stomach will absorb some of the alcohol, causing it to enter your bloodstream at a slower rate. If you and a friend each have three drinks at a party, but she’s eaten beforehand and you haven’t, your blood alcohol content could be up to three times higher than your friend’s.

TIP 2: Alternate alcohol with soda or seltzer water to slow down its effects.

10pm:  Uh-Oh….

After a few hours of drinking, alcohol starts to interfere with communication between the nerve cells in the cerebral cortex. This part of the brain is responsible for processing information and initiating muscle movement.

The alcohol masks warning signals from other parts of your body, so you have poor judgment, coupled with a higher pain threshold. You feel more confident, but you’re actually less coordinated.

Your liver might not be able to metabolize the alcohol fast enough, which increases the concentration of alcohol in the body, causing nausea, lack of coordination and dizziness.

Alcohol also affects the hippocampus and septal areas of your brain, which are responsible for emotional responses and registering and storing memories. This accounts for the memory gaps the day after, and explains why drunk people are prone to extreme emotional responses, like crying or fighting.

TIP 3: Try to slow yourself down by doing something other than standing around, drinking. Dance. Play cards. Take a lap around the party. Head to the bathroom and play Words With Friends on your phone.

11pm:  Time for a nightcap…

As the party goes on, you may start feeling draggy, and then try to recapture those initial good feelings. Maybe what you need is something stronger, you think, so you switch to the hard stuff. The problem is, the darker the drink, the worse the hangover, due to impurities from the fermentation process.

TIP 4: If you switch from beer or wine to liquor, stick to clear drinks, such as vodka, to minimize your hangover. Avoid port wine, brandy or whiskey, which can linger in your system for up to 24 hours.

12 am: Should I stay or should I go?

At some point, your body starts telling you it’s time to leave the party, but it’s hard when you see others, still going strong.

Those people—larger people, heavy drinkers, men—have a higher tolerance.  Men can drink more than women without feeling its effects, since they have more water in their bodies to dilute the alcohol. Women also have less of the liver enzyme that breaks down alcohol.

TIP 5: Know your limits. Just because your friend or companion has had four drinks and feels fine, doesn’t mean you can do the same.

2 am: I’m tired, but I’m also starving!

After a night of drinking, the pancreas pumps insulin into your system to break down the alcohol in your blood. Your blood sugar levels drop, leaving you ravenous for high-calorie, fatty foods.

4am: Why do I feel so tired, when it felt like I had the deepest sleep of my life? 

When you drink a certain amount, the same brain chemicals that made you feel great in the first place drop to low levels, leaving you exhausted.

For part of the night you’re in a deep sleep, but you don’t achieve REM sleep, which is restorative, so you don’t feel refreshed the next morning.

Alcohol is a diuretic, so you wake up in the middle of the night with a parched mouth and a full bladder.

7am: Please God, don’t make me get out of bed.

Your monster headache is due to dehydration, plus a chemical your liver makes to purge the poison from your body.

TIP 6: After a night of heavy drinking, you may crave the energy boost of grease and caffeine, since your blood sugar is low. But fatty foods will only aggravate an upset stomach by stimulating an over-production of stomach acids. Instead, go for low-glycemic foods: whole wheat toast, oatmeal or low-fat dairy, like yogurt.

11am: Why do I still feel drunk?

You thought you could sleep it off, but hangovers tend to get worse throughout the day.

You’ve assaulted your body with too much alcohol, and now your body is going through withdrawal symptoms. Those chemicals that made you feel so great in the first place are lower than normal, making you feel irritable, depressed and anxious. You may also have an increased body temperature, a racing heart rate, and the shakes.

1pm: Starting to feel human

TIP 7: An antacid can help calm an inflamed stomach lining.

8pm: Still feeling the effects?

Before you start envying the estimated 25 per cent of people who don’t suffer hangovers, consider this: A hangover can be a good thing—a reminder that your body is having a normal response to too much alcohol. Maybe—just maybe—that third cup of spiked eggnog wasn’t worth it!

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I don’t know about you, but I’m not the most creative when it comes to making crafts. So I was pretty impressed when I came across a post from Bottlenotes titled “Eat, Drink And Make Decorations.”

With Hanukkah and Christmas only weeks ago, it’s time to start saving the corks and the bottles. Break out the glue gun and then follow their instructions. Before you know it, you’ll “be able to turn these wine recyclables into menorahs, wreaths, and place holders for your holiday dinner tables.”

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To all our fantastic readers and writers—drinkers, non-drinkers, once-drinkers, never-been-drinkers and everyone else on the spectrum–Happy Thanksgiving!

We’re so grateful for all the support we’ve received for what we’re doing here at Drinking Diaries. In honor of the holiday, we’ve rounded up some Thanksgiving-related posts (to read, say, when you’re in the bathroom with your laptop, hiding from the relatives):

Here’s a Great one by Sarah Allen Benton, which is on the Psychology Today blog, on Coping With Family Events Without Alcohol (or when others are banging on the bathroom door and you have to surrender your private time).

And more, from Drinking Diaries:

An essay by Tara Handron on Gratitude Month

An essay by co-editor Caren Osten Gerszberg, “A Mixed Blessing” 

Another post by Caren: “How Puritan Were Those Pilgrims?”

A post by me (Leah) about how Thanksgiving eve night is the biggest night for underage drinking. Surprised?

Enjoy your turkey and seltzer, or tofurkey and wine, or whatever it is you’ll be eating and drinking!

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In a recent piece in the New York Times, Tim Murphy writes that among the 30-something New Yorker set, hiring a bartender adds class to a party, no matter how small the apartment and its reading-corner-cum-bar.

In addition to polishing your act (no more keg and chips for you), hiring a bartender for an at-home party can have pragmatic purpose–relieving the host of having to deal with all of your guests’ beverage needs.

In every city, there are professional services that can provide you with bartender sources–the Times piece reports that for four to five hours of work, bartenders charge between $100 and $200. Or, you could do what we do: hire a relative, give him a quick bartending education (or refer him to any of the Bartending 101-like classes on line), and unless he tests out too many of his concoctions and forgets how to mix a cocktail, you should be all set. Party on.

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There’s nothing like a frenzied spectator sport to underscore drinking’s two sides: the light and the dark.

Google World Cup Drinking Games, and you’ll get over 17 million ideas. Generally, when you think of drinking games, you might think of frat boys chug-a-lugging plastic cups of beer, but some have raised drinking games to a new level. One idea for a World Cup Drinking Game, from wine writer Will Lyons: Drink a wine from the region where the match is being played (although, as he points out, some regions in South Africa do not produce wine, so beer may have to be consumed).

For many, the World Cup is a time of revelry and jubilation. For others, it’s a time of fear. During the 2006 World Cup, in England, there was a 25% average increase in domestic violence on the five days that England was in the tournament.

In London, victims of domestic violence are being urged to make an action plan in case their partners drink too much and turn violent during the World Cup. Some of the suggestions:

–stay overnight with friends or family members on England game nights or arrange for your children to go to a friend’s house for a sleepover

–keep relevant phone numbers on hand (i.e. crisis hotlines)

–know where your mobile phone and car keys are

–ask friends or family to call them to check in on them during or after the game

–avoid drinking too much, so you’re in your right mind.

The last warning is sad to me, because it’s a reminder that for some women, jubilation and revelry aren’t an option–and not because of their own drinking, but because someone they love drinks and gets violent.

Consider these two drinking scenes from the party hearty  Vancouver Olympics:

Jon Montgomery wins gold in men’s skeleton and someone hands him a pitcher of beer, which he chugs, to the delight of the fans. According to the Winnipeg Free Press, “Millions of Canadians watched him capture Olympic gold and celebrate by chugging a pitcher of beer…Now, Manitoba’s fast-talking, beer-drinking Olympic champion Jon Montgomery will be watched by millions more when he makes an appearance on [Oprah’s] talk show.”

The Canadian women’s hockey team beats the U.S. After all the fans have cleared out of the arena, the women have a raucous celebration on the ice–drinking beer, pouring champagne into each other’s mouth, smoking cigars. Controversy ensues.

Some feel it was inappropriate for the women to celebrate on the ice, instead of in the locker room; others are up in arms because one of the revelers, Marie-Philip Poulin, is just shy of 19, Canada’s legal drinking age. Still others feel the women are setting a bad example for their fans by drinking at all. In the end, Hockey Canada apologized for the incident.

At Drinking Diaries, we have maintained all along that for women especially, drinking is a loaded topic. This incident just cements it in my mind. Many have said that it would have been okay if the women had been in the locker room, but not on the ice. What irks me is the hypocrisy. We can drink, but we should hide it.

Hmmm. Jon Montgomery certainly wasn’t hiding his, and now he’s the MAN.  

And what about all the alcohol ads we’re bombarded with during the Olympics?

As for the hockey players as role models, if my child heard about the hockey players’ celebrating by drinking, I would just say: “Honey, if you put in the years of clean living, hard work and dedication these women have, and you win a gold medal, I give you my permission to celebrate however you want.”  Period. End of story.

So what did other people think? In response to an article in the CBC National Post, Vancouver, most people felt the hockey players should be allowed to have their fun. Dick Pound, a member of the International Olympic Committee (IOC) who handed out the medals to Team Canada, said:  “I think it’s kind of like killing a mouse with an elephant gun…These kids have worked like dogs for years and months, and the pressure is off. They had a huge game and a great win. Hey, let them have some fun.”

Here are some of the livelier comments:

“This is the most ridiculous double standard. No one blinked an eye when Jon Montgomery chugged a stein of beer, but heaven forbid that our gold medal winners in hockey would be anything other than ladylike!” –Bloody Mary

“Who the hell cares? Alcohol is THE drug of choice for most people in the western world, including members of the IOC, I bet, and we’re to freak out because a bunch of athletes who worked their asses off for years and have now pulled off a major victory, of which most Canadians are proud, have celebrated with a few drinks??!! I say drink up girls, and well done.” –Dietley:

“The ladies’ desire to celebrate is entirely understandable – they have been under enormous pressure, carrying a large piece of the nation’s hopes and expectations on their shoulders.” –Umbra Fever

“Oh here we go. Celebrating in front of who? The cleaning crew? 30 minutes later the arena was most likely cleared out. They tend to clear out fast…A good promotion of sport values? Then why is alcohol sold at these events? Do they think that the players don’t drink? For eff sakes they won a gold medal, let them celebrate with the cleaning crew if they want.”–Hockey Chick 68:

“Were they drinking non-Olympic sponsored beverages?” –Superquad 1968

“If they celebrate in the changing room, that’s one thing, but not in public.” –Nix O’Neill

“Kind of sums it up for the IOC: it’s all about appearances and artifice. Give me messy, unrehearsed reality ANY day. If they want to chug & puff, let ‘em chug & puff – they’re (fabulously talented) human beings, not icons.”

And what did the hockey players themselves have to say? Some apologized, but team Captain Hayley Wickenheiser felt there was a double standard at work: “I don’t brush it off, the underage [part] and being on the ice,” said Wickenheiser. “Those things maybe could have been done different. But at the same time, it’s celebrating, it’s hockey, it’s a tradition we do. When we see a Stanley Cup winner, we see them spraying champagne all over the dressing room, you see 18-year-old kids there and nobody says a thing.”

What do you think, dear Blog Readers? Do you think it’s okay for the athletes to celebrate their victory any which way, or do you think they crossed a line?

Source–women’s hockey team photo

Source–Jon Montgomery photo

Yo, Superbowl? Women are watching, too. NielsenWire reported that in 2008, women made up nearly half of all Super Bowl watchers. And–surpise surprise: 10 million more women watched the 2005 Super Bowl than the Academy Awards (Forbes ).

Plus, I would add, women definitely do more than their share of Super Bowl snack & beverage shopping. And yes, they do drink beer. According to drinkfocus.com,women account for 25% of beer consumption.

So will this be the year of the woman-centric Superbowl Beer Ad? Well, yes and no.

One of this year’s commercials features a man who skips his softball game to attend his wife’s book club because she’s serving Bud Light. Women can laugh at the irony (sort of like those “Porn for Wives” books, where buff husbands scrub the toilets in their boxers), but are the ads laughing with us, or at us?

And never fear–there’ll certainly be plenty of ads aimed at the hormonal teenager that advertisers believe lurks inside of all men–ads featuring big-bosomed beer-sipping babes.

But advertisers are getting smarter. The trend now is toward over-the-top ads. As Vanessa Richmond points out on AlterNet:

“Today’s ads are so over the top it’s clear they’re somewhat ironic. At the end of the cat fight ads, for example, the women, who are also drinking beer, roll their eyes. The ads create a knowing wink fantasy bubble that’s enhanced by the fact that everyone knows they’re getting away with something naughty…The fantasy is that men, in particular, can have it all. Because the ads wink at viewers, and because they’re so over the top, men can get away with enjoying the pleasures of a sexist fantasy world, while an equal number of women sit in the audience. They can have their beer and drink it too.”  

Or wine. This year, I’ll be making chili and if I drink at all, it’ll be wine, since my husband is allergic to beer. I wonder how many other women and men drink wine, or other cocktails, instead of beer. Do you drink during the Super Bowl? If so, what do you drink? Anyone else drinking wine instead of beer?

If you’re watching the Super Bowl tonight, be sure to check out the ads. Were any of them aimed at you? Did they make you laugh, or cringe? I’ll be watching, and I’ll keep you posted.

POSTSCRIPT: The Book Club ad was funny, but it was total frat-boy humor: i.e. “Did you like Little Women?” one of the book club members asks, and the dude (husband guy) says something along the lines of, “Yeah, I like ‘em little, big, whatever…” Funny, I have to admit, yes, in the way I can laugh along with the frat boys, but we’re still not in the driver’s seat in those commercials. We’re still not the beer buyer there. What do you think?

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Recently, there has been a spate of novels, short stories, memoirs and non-fiction books published that touch on the topic of women and alcohol–Here is just a sampling:

MOMMY DOESN’T DRINK HERE ANYMORE by Rachel Brownell (memoir)

IT’S NOT ME, IT’S YOU by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor (personal essays written before the popular blogger/memoirist announced she was quitting drinking)

BLAME by Michelle Huneven (novel)

LIT by Mary Karr (memoir, see excerpt in Drinking Diaries)

“Intervention” a short story in Jill McCorkle’s collection GOING AWAY SHOES

TROUBLE by Kate Christensen (novel w/ lots of unapologetic drinking)

ONCE WAS LOST by Sara Zarr (young adult novel with alcoholic mother)

And for those of you interested in poetry, there’s FLAWED LIGHT: American Women Poets and Alcohol, a non-fiction book about women poets and alcohol.

Some of my personal, perennial favorites:

SMASHED by Koren Zailckas (memoir)

ROSIE by Anne Lamott (novel, featuring a woman struggling with her relationship to alcohol)

AT HOME IN THE WORLD by Joyce Maynard (memoir, & she’s the daughter of an alcoholic)

What are your favorite books that touch on the subject of women and alcohol? Favorite movies? Poems? Please share!

by Deirdre Sinnott

When I was 14-years-old, I found myself in a tight huddle with a few of the cool high school kids on a cold night in the tiny village of Clinton, New York. For most of the people in our knot, beer was the main attraction. But finding myself standing, concealed by tall cedars, in the town’s small graveyard, splitting a six-pack of Genny Cream Ale, gave me my first tantalizing glimpse of the social glue alcohol could provide. Across the street stood our destination — the Clinton Arena and that night’s hockey game. I stamped my feet, hating the cold of the crunchy snow and loving the freeze of the Genny as it slipped down my throat. I was in ninth grade or so and it was the first time I had my own beer to drink. But of course it wasn’t my last.

I rode a wave of suds through college. It was my constant companion, whether I was flopped on the industrial carpet of my good friend’s dorm hallway charming his mates or perched on a stool at the glittering bar of Phoebe’s Garden Café in Syracuse, NY, after a grueling day in the college theater mines. The arrival of the beer signaled that a new phase of the day was beginning. Beer was my reward, my comfort, my release.

I was never really satisfied with the volume of liquid that a mixed drink offered. I was incapable of sipping, so my alcohol/drunkenness calculations were frequently found wanting if I strayed into the rye-and-ginger or the gin-and-tonic world. I found that beer, in a single serving size can, prevented the sort of mess that a Long Island Iced Tea might engender. At least drinking beer usually meant that I was not going to rely on friends to hoist my arms over their shoulders and stagger together, like a bad imitation of the Rockettes, across the manicured lawns of fraternity and sorority row to get home.

As I grew older and moved to New York City, beer made for the perfect excuse for camaraderie. After rehearsals, my fellow theater addicts and I would retire to a bar that served 50-cent beers in eight-ounce glasses. The place was crusty, covered with a patina of wild 1970s action where men, still dirty from a day of manual labor, smashed down shots and brawled for fun. Some of the holdovers still occupied the same barstools; their hands remained rough, but not as steady. Buying rounds there was easy and drinking them even easier.

Beer rarely broke its promise to me. It remained a reliable 5% alcohol level, enough to soothe my troubled brain and normally expensive enough to keep me from enjoying too much of it.

I don’t remember my last beer. I know I was drinking Budweiser instead of my beloved $1.49, 40-ounce malt liquor. I’m sure it was cold and had an effervescent bite as it slid over my tongue. It, no doubt, radiated tranquility through my core. The difference with that beer was that I drank it alone. The “social” part was over. I stuck with the beer, not the friends.

Now that beer and I have parted ways there are no hard feelings — at least on my part. Breweries across the U.S. and Ireland might have noticed a slight decline in their sales numbers in February 1997, but I’m certain that others have taken my place at the tap.

But during those early years, I loved beer so much that I said I could write verse about its virtues. Of course I was too busy enjoying it to actually put fingers to keyboard. So here is the best I can do now, in this post-beer moment:

Time was, I was queer for beer, my dear.
I drank and I drank till I stank.
I didn’t care if the weather be fair,
Snowy or hot or what-not for my shot.
Nights weren’t concluded till I was polluted,
Like a sack on my back run down by a Mack.
When the sun rose and I woke from my dose,
God it was vile, lying in bile, face creased by floor tile.
Those mornings I vowed to stop getting plowed
Alas by midnight all the might of my fight
Would fail by the wondrous pale of an ale.

This is Deirdre Sinnott’s second essay for Drinking Diaries (back in November, she wrote a great piece called “The Grinder.”) You can find out more about Deirdre by visiting her website at www.DeirdreSinnott.com.

Think 20-somethings are the biggest boozers? Think again. A new study of Danish and English women found that women with high incomes and good jobs drink more often and more heavily than almost any other group of women. According to the researchers, society’s preoccupation with teen and college-age drinking has led them to overlook another group of heavy drinkers: professional, middle-aged women.

Why the discrepancy? Researchers says it’s because middle-aged drinking is seen as civilized, compared to the drinking-fueled antics of 20-somethings. Middle-aged drinking is simply not as sexy and visible (Is there a “Gossip Girl” or “Sex in the City” for 40 and 50-somethings?) Picture a 20-something drinker and you picture a gaggle of women hitting the bars, socializing. Older women, with serious jobs, relationships and perhaps, families, tend to do more of their drinking in private, at home. But just because they’re not jumping up on bars or hooking up with random men doesn’t mean they’re consuming less.

Over the holidays, I couldn’t resist going to the latest chick flick, IT’S COMPLICATED, a middle-aged woman’s wet dream, whereby Meryl Streep looks amazing and gets romanced by not one, but two, suitors. I don’t know about you, but most of my friends’ moms who were divorced waited years till they found someone else, while their exes seemed to hook up right away. I’m sure that’s not always the case, but let’s face it: IT’S COMPLICATED is total fantasy-land, people, including the drinking.

Oh, the drinking. IT’S COMPLICATED literally made me want to drink. Everyone had such a rosy glow, and when Meryl throws back a few, then a few more, at the bar with Alec Baldwin, she laughs! She dances! She glows! And she has the time of her life. Sure–things do get “complicated,” but if complicated means great sex and lots of admirers, what’s so bad about that? Yes, Meryl Streep’s character does get sick from all the booze. But still–even the scene of her barfing into her nightstand drawer is cute and funny, rather than sad. It’s all in the lighting. Plus, in the movie, she has a fabulous career as the owner of a high-end bakery, a beautiful house, three gorgeous, well-adjusted kids, and an ex-husband who still carries a torch. Oh yeah, and a killer wardrobe.

Meryl Streep drinks with her warm and witty group of girlfriends. She drinks with her ex. She drinks with her kids, and has a ball. She even smokes pot, and makes it look fun (you’ll have to see the movie for yourself to see the Steven Martin/Meryl Streep pot-smoking party scene–hilarious).

All this is to say that the middle-aged, highly educated professional played by Meryl Streep–and all the other middle-aged and above characters in the film who have great wardrobes, big smiles and great jobs–make the twenty-somethings look tame by comparison. So what gives? Is this another part of the IT’S COMPLICATED fantasy-land, or is there some truth to the thought that established women drink just as much as twenty-somethings?

If you’re 40- 50 or 60-something plus and you’re reading this–do you drink more, less, or the same as you did in your twenties?

Right now, while raising three kids, I definitely drink less, mostly because I’m too tired at night, and I’d rather take a bath or read. But I can envision a time, down the road, when the kids are away at college (like Meryl Streep’s kids in IT’S COMPLICATED) and I start traveling, hanging out more with friends, and yes–sharing bottles of wine…Wow–that sounds like fun. (Not to be a downer, but for some women, who have struggled with alcohol-related issues, the drinking in IT’S COMPLICATED must seem like a sugar-coated fantasy–like Russian roulette, because you never know who’s going to be adversely effected).