Recently, we were contacted by CJ Fleming, a graduate student at Clark University in Worcester, MA. She is seeking volunteers to participate in a survey she is conducting on couples and alcohol use. CJ is currently working on her dissertation, which focuses on the spouse’s role in a person’s decision to seek help for alcohol use issues. The study is designed for married couples for whom alcohol use is an area of disagreement in their marriage, and is intended for people at all levels of alcohol intake.

If you think you might be interested in participating in her study, please read the flyer below. Here is the link to the survey: https://surveys.clarku.edu/AlcoholUseSurveyStart.aspx

This study has been approved by the Clark Committee for the Rights of Human Participants in Research and Training Programs (IRB). Any questions about human rights issues should be directed to the IRB Chair, Dr. James P. Elliott, 508-793-7152, jelliott@clarku.edu. The study is being conducted by C.J. Fleming, M.A. and James Cordova, Ph.D. in the Psychology Department at Clark University. Please feel free to contact the researcher ( alcoholusesurveyemail@gmail.com ) or the research supervisor ( jcordova@clarku.edu ) with any questions or concerns.

After coming across a recent article in U. Conn’s on-line newspaper, The Daily Campus, we realized it’s time to address this question, this topic, this who’s-going-to-take-reponsibility-for-their-behavior issue of college drinking and sex. College may be far back in the past for some of us, or maybe we (read: you) are still there, but either way, we want to know…

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As some of you may remember, I once wrote a post about how I do not drink on Mondays. Recently, I heard from a colleague who felt she needed to take a break from drinking for a month, a neighbor who put away the wine for a week–but only lasted four days–and from a friend who explained that she always starts the new year off with a booze-free January. So we’re wondering about you?

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In response to our readers’ interest in yesterday’s post on recent sleep research–what can help and what to avoid pre-slumber–we invite you to take our poll and let us know what helps you. And if there’s something not on the list that makes it easier for you to fall asleep, we’d love to know so just choose “other” and add it in…

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Not to be celebrity-obsessed or anything, but Mel Gibson’s drunk, evil alter-ego has done it again–ranting, raving, and abusing his ex-girlfriend, the mother of one of his children. One wonders what his rock bottom will be: murder? Which brings to mind the question: Since celebs seem to get away with so much, do alcoholic celebs have to hit a lower low than mere mortal alcoholics to be called out on their behavior. His agent’s dropped him. His reputation is in tatters. What next?

Usually, abusers hide under many layers of denial, but this time, Mel Gibson’s been caught. On tape. Acknowledging to his ex that he hit her, using the “but you deserved it” line.

It’s hard not to feel like bashing Mel Gibson, after all the nasty things he’s said to and about so many people. But still, underneath all those hideous words lies the spectre of alcoholism. Sad, but true.

Which brings me to my next question: Have you ever been verbally or physically abused by a lover who was drunk? Take our anonymous poll.

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A new study published in the Medical Journal of Australia reported that 80% of Australian women drink during pregnancy, despite medical warnings. In America, we may be more puritanical, but lately, women have been getting mixed messages. A little alcohol is good for you. Any alcohol is dangerous for the developing fetus. And on and on.

So we’re wondering: did you drink during your pregnancy? Take our poll and let us know.

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Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, told Oprah Winfrey that she was drinking red wine the night she got caught in an undercover sting selling access to her ex, Prince Andrew. “I was in the gutter at that moment,” she said. “I was not in my right place.” I guess all that is to say that she was trashed.

And Lindsay Lohan has now paid $300,000 in bail money for drunk driving and violating the terms of her probation.

According to the Center for Science in the Public Interest, an estimated 4 in 10 women who committed violence were perceived by the victim as being under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs at the time of the crime. Additionally, an estimated 25% of women on probation, 29% of women in local jails, 29% of women in state prisons, and 15% of women in federal prisons had been consuming alcohol at the time of the offense.

Stealing, driving, getting into a physical fight, taking drugs. Have you ever done something illegal when you were drunk? Take our poll and leave a comment, if you wish.

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When you go out to dinner, do you ask for the wine list, or do you defer to the person you’re with?

In a recent interview on Bloomberg.com, Virginia Philip, a sommelier at The Breakers hotel in Palm Beach, had this to say: “In our more up-scale dining restaurants, eight times out of ten, it is the gentlemen at the table still making the decisions.”

And it’s not that women lack the buying power or the knowledge. According to the Wine Market Council, 53 percent of wine drinkers in the U.S. are women. Last year, women matched men as “core drinkers,” those who drink wine at least once a week.

Even though she is a Master Sommelier, “unless someone knows who I am, the list is passed to the man, who then hands it back to me,” she said. “We have worked very diligently in our restaurants over the last five to eight years to not allow that to happen and to offer the list to the table. Still, if the host is the woman at the table, nine times out of ten she passes it to the man. I am convinced women do this to not ‘bruise the ego’ of the gentlemen they are dining with.”

What about if you’re out to dinner with other women? According to Ms. Philip: “If women are drinking with other women, obviously they choose the wine…European women tend to be more comfortable ordering wine when men are present at the table.”

The interesting thing is–women and men tend to go for different wines. So are women compromising their own tastes by deferring to the men? Women tend to order seasonally, Philip says, preferring light whites in summer and reds in colder weather, while men tend to order the “big, expensive, red cult wines out of California.” Women are not just ordering one glass of Chardonnay, as is the stereotype.

The management at Corton, in New York’s Tribeca, has devised their own system to avoid favoring men over women: “When the guests sit down the captain will place the cocktail and wine list right on the table and see who reaches for it,” said sommelier Ame Brewster. “We give them a few minutes to look at it, then I’ll go up to the person going through the pages.”

When you go out to dinner, do you tend to ask for the wine list, or do you defer to your partner? Take our poll and let us know.

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One of our readers recently made the following comment about teens and drinking: “Sneaking alcohol out of parents’ liquor cabinets is all too easy. Parents are too busy to notice depletions and just blame the spouse for drinking it up too fast. Parents would do well to lock up or outlaw hard alcohol in the house during teens’ high school and maybe even middle school years.”

What do you think? Take the poll.

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